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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Men and Their Fear of Commitment

She's heard the pretty words and felt the emotions only to find out the man was using her or bailed out to see if the grass was greener on the other side. He spent tons of money on a girl who stole his heart away only to find out she was dating several men- unsure if his full attention was on her.

Men fear commitment for many reasons different than women do. Its and issue of freedom. One writer expresses,"They don't want to lose their personal space or have a partner who puts demands on them. Crossing over from bachelorhood to committing to one person can cause fear of the unknown."

I am at a point in my relationship where I feel nothing is finite. He is holding back and I am left questioning his feelings for me. It is an issue of trust for me. I don't know if he is looking at other women or if he desires to start something serious with me. If I am the girl he wants to pursue, he needs to express this to me because he is not showing me. I need to know if its even something he does not see potentially. It will hurt, but I need to base my feelings on something real, not a made-up ideal in my head. Can he see an "us" in the future? I need to know his intentions. I can't say for sure that I can answer that question either but I CANNOT be halfway involved in something. I need to know where he stands- we have dated for 2 months so far and I have begun to put up a wall because I can't fully trust him. It will be devastating if he says he doesn't see a future together but I would rather know now than put my heart into something that will crash and burn. I wear my heart and emotions on my sleeve and hate walls- but there is one between us.

One relationship expert, Kathy D, states, "Never sabotage your relationship and use tactics to make your partner want to break up because of "your" fear. Never just bail out without explanation because of your fear." We both deserve explanations from each other if this relationship is not meant to be.

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